On Goals and Targets.......

Lakshya! The Word is Lakshya....Though it’s been quite a while since promos of this movie has been doing the rounds; a series of inevitable events that occurred at work over the past couple of days, has made me look away from the ‘Bird Nest’ hairdo on ‘Pretty’ Preity’s face and reflect a lot more seriously on what Lady Zinta keeps unrelentingly blabbering on the marquee. Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen it’s time for Goal setting or as Roshan Junior is explained in the movie, it’s time to have our ‘L’ word in place.

As the new boss opened the weekly review meeting with a rather poker-faced query on the tasks given for the team to do over the week, it didn’t require any stupendous memory skills to recollect the requisite, but then considering the pin-drop silence prevailing in the room and of course my innate ability to dig graves for personal use; “You asked us to set quarterly targets and goals”, I blurt out with some assistance from an equally able colleague. At the moment if somebody had said that Foot and(in) Mouth was not found in India, I would advocate nothing less than Capital Punishment to that moron.

The meeting nevertheless progressed (with a stern warning of course – on the dire consequences of a repeat act), onto a lot more things that deserved instant priority; what needed my immediate attention though, was this 4 letter word called Goal (definitely with a capital G); I certainly ended up slogging my brain for the rest of the day and night in trying to understand what would be the goals and targets of the vast billions that adore this blessed planet.

It’s a definite truth that no man (or Woman) is absolutely aimless in life. We all know what we need in life. Yes the fact remains that sometimes we don’t know how to get there. Sometimes we might not know how much we want. Some other times we might not even want anything substantial enough. But unarguably we would all want to have a good life (the degree of ‘good’ depends on the ambition levels), with enough goodies to boast of a sound personal wealth. And yes most importantly as the age old adage goes, we all want to be Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.

But with most corporate Honchos talking in lengths only about setting aggressive and measurable targets, I’m just a tad bothered by the fact that we are all getting a bit too deeply absorbed into the ever ominous rat race. Though I’m neither qualified nor experienced enough to philosophize the basic requisite of a corporate life – which is to compete and do it fiercely – the fact that these ever ambitious goals take away a decent part of the quality of an individual’s life is certainly an insight worth remembering. I’m sure there are enough Devil’s Advocates claiming that this is what distinctly marks the Gates, Dells and even our own Ambanis, apart from the rest of Gods lesser children. But then how in heavens name can we explain the fact that these are the very guys who ensure that they lead a life of the highest quality while their Super-Managers break their heads setting targets (and passing it onto their Subordinates) and more importantly trying to achieve them.

Trust me; I have nothing against these Business tycoons. In fact I idolize them and admire their sheer courage in going all out to build their vast empire (sometimes definitely on others graves) – But the fact still remains that these are the only set of people who are ensured achievement of all their personal goals and targets in life just because some of their managers are breaking their backs at achieving them. So what happens is a simple case of a large mass of Individuals ensuring all personal targets of their bosses are met, while they go all out meeting their professional targets. It is not very difficult to realize who ends up being Healthy, Wealthy and Wise.

Now don’t consider me to be one having a communist ideology. In fact I’m very much pro-capitalism and ‘am seriously contemplating into getting onto an entrepreneurial venture sometime very soon. And considering that the whole world is looking towards us as the home of the services industry, services is definitely what I would provide. Yes people I have decided to become a Super Cool Goal Setter.....

Aimless Drifter (AD): Hello sir, my wife always says that I have no goals in life. Can you please help?
Super Cool Goal Setter (SCGS): Of course Aimless Drifter. That’s why I’m here. But first let me ask you a question. What do you want in life?
AD: Well, not much – just to live life the way it comes.
SCGS: No, No.. That’s going without setting a direction. Think of something you want to end up with.
AD: Well I think that I would want to end up pretty well off with a good family.
SCGS: Wrong again. There is nothing Tangible in it. Think of something that can be measured.
AD: OK, how about 10 Lakh rupees with a wife and a couple of kids.
SCGS: No your targets are way too low. Increase it by a couple of folds and also change the rupees to US Dollars.
AD: Why more wives and more certainly why dollars. I thought anything foreign was not allowed.
SCGS: You will be termed a loser if your targets are low. And unless you start thinking in US Dollars, nobody will care about what you are. Moreover foreign is allowed as long as it is not the Italian Lira.
AD: So can I make it 5 million Dollars with 5 wives and 10 kids.
SCGS: Perfect.
AD: Thank you Sir, My wife would definitely be very happy now that I have Goals in life.
SCGS: Yes of course. All you have to do now is divide it into yearly, quarterly and monthly targets and you will be on your way. And yes before you go my fees are 5% of your goals....

Just imagine the killing I could make in the form of fees charged for my exceptional counsel. With the definite assumption that there would be nothing less than a few hundred million Aimless Drifters in this world, I would not only be able to set outstanding Goals for myself but also achieve it with immense ease. All I have to now worry about is to get hold of a good way to advertise myself far and wide and ensure my services are heard about even in the remotest corner of Timbuktu. Any advises.....Ensure it is passed on to me.....A free counsel guaranteed for accepted suggestions.

As I licked my lips in anticipation of the immense wealth I would earn, I just couldn’t help shout GOOOOOOOAAAAAAL. Only this time it was a cheer for Wayne Rooney’s excellent kick past Croatian goal keeper Butina, as England romped home into the Quarters.... At least somebody had met with their immediate Goals....