Le Magnificent Pink

It definitely is one of the cutest among its breed. It comes in a variety of hues & tones and has prefixes as diverse as BABY and DUSTY. Your face turns this when you blush. A series of movies were made with its name. We even have a pop star being its namesake. But most dreadful of all is when it’s used with reference to a slip. Yes, Ladies and gentlemen we are talking about the color PINK and the one term that takes away all the sheen associated with it – ‘THE PINK SLIP’.

For most of us regulars, the term in general came into notoriety with a slew of Yankees complaining, crying, agitating, threatening and what not; as they bitterly spoke about being pink-slipped, to facilitate the out sourcing of jobs to all the third world ‘Cyber Coolies’, who had very happily agreed to do their job for a lot lesser price. Though we had enough reasons to cheer at the thought of getting to bite into a rather large chunk of the American Pie; little did we realize that the influx of the American life also brought with it all aspects of their work culture and processes.....

And then as more Indian companies tried to pursue the western managerial practices, ‘getting shown the door’ become an everyday affair, without sparing even those places where the thought of a layoff had earlier brought with it scares of ‘Trade Union trouble‘ and ‘Strikes’. I bet Jack Welch would never have dreamt that his "Vitality Curve" preaching the 20:70:10 ratio would eventually earn this religious a following.
For those yet to be introduced to the harsh reality of a vitality curve; the managers at GE had to promote the top 20% of their people each year, they got to keep 70%, but they had to terminate the bottom 10%. This exercise was to be followed every year.
However this policy had certain negative aspects; for instance, even if a manager finds that all employees in his department have performed above par, he had to still follow the 20:70:10 ratio so that 10 per cent of the total staff can be asked to quit. Else it reflected as the manager’s inability to carry various tasks – decision making, detailed analysis, separation of personal opinion from professional, to just name a few..... I’m sure this aspect of the vitality curve has been debated and discussed enough by people of superior authority. But to add my bit to it, the fact that certain decisions are taken based on the relative performance of an individual and not his absolute contribution, shows total insensitivity towards the employee.

But since we are not talking about GE or its policy and to avoid the digression that more often than not happens with my posts; let me get back to what we started with – ‘the pink slip’. Whether we call it ‘discharge’, ‘dismissal’, ‘layoff’ or the more ingenious ‘the sack’, ‘the axe’, ‘the boot’ - The art of ‘forcibly dismissing a person from rendering his services to the company’ has definitely evolved over the ages. How else could we explain the need to have at least two dozen well known phrases meaning the same thing? What we know for sure though, is that no known company has ever handed anybody an actual pink slip; then why pray have yet another name for something that can be told in loads of other forms.
To soften the blow I guess.....
Why not???
After all Pink definitely gives the soothing appeal to this mean act.....

So how do we know if we are also a part of the dreaded list that would eventually find its way to the HR team? Let me confess; though I have never been done in yet, I have kept my senses open enough, to know a few indicators. Sample some–

Method 1: Read between your boss’ lines.
Regardless of what he eventually says, your boss definitely gets to know things a lot before you would. Beware of these statements from your boss-

1) Boss: Hey Sharath, did you know that ABC corp. is starting their new centre in Richmond road - I think you definitely need to give it a try – your profile would suit their requirement pretty well (Boss means: that’s because your profile no longer matches the requirement here).

2) Boss: Sharath, I think you need to take a break for a few days– I would like to see how well your team does in your absence (Boss means: I would definitely like to see how much of value addition you create - if your team can still continue to deliver in your absence, then you are worth zilch).

3) Boss: Though you are due for an appraisal this week, I think I will defer it for another month or two (Boss means: that way I can save a lot of my effort and time – why an appraisal when you are already on your way out).

4) Boss: Sharath, didn’t you tell me last week that you were planning to buy a car. I guess you should put it off till the next month. This month is not very auspicious (Boss means: why car when you would just be sitting all day at home – serves you right anyways, planning to buy a car when I still have a stupid bike).

Method 2: People digging past graves.
It is a certain fact that there never is enough reason to give you the sack, based just on your immediate performance. And that’s when your history is dug. So beware if people start asking you to submit all files of your previous accounts or question you about your performances over the last year or two. It's a definite indicator of the beginning of your end.....

Method 3: Search for signs of animosity from your superiors.
Nobody wants to be associated with a loser. So when all the senior personnel in your office suddenly starts distancing from you; be assured that it is a clear indicator of them knowing that you are on your way out and that they no longer want to have any personal ties with you.

Method 4: Befriend the HR guys.
Though they have appeared absolutely avoidable right from day one (think HR and the first thing that you remember, is the thousands of forms that they made you fill-up, on the pretext of 'joining formalities'), it definitely is a wise ploy to have friends among their breed. Firstly, they can help you with complete information of movement (in & out) across all levels. Then they could let you know of openings in other departments, which you should grab to avoid the urgent crisis at hand. And most importantly, they often know of immediate requirements in other companies and could push your name through their fellow beings at that place.

These are just a few but powerful indicators to let you know when you are breathing your last. So if you get any such indicators, you better know that you are due to recieve the final handshake (and it's certainly not golden). Next time, I will probably write on ways to ensure you never become a part of this dreaded list in the first place; but till then just follow my word and hope you never have a red lettered day at office- after all red is certainly quite close to Pink.....